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3 scripts for the hardest moments.
Word for word: what to say, what to do and what to avoid when your toddler hits the baby, kicks off at feeds, or won't stay in bed. Use them tonight.
Script 1 of 20
Hits or pushes the baby
- “I won't let you hit.”
- “You're angry the baby is here. That's allowed. Hitting isn't.”
- “Show me how angry. Stamp your feet with me.”
Do this
- Move your body between them first. Words come second.
- Catch or block the hand calmly, and move the baby out of reach.
- Say the script once, then stop talking. Stay close.
- Later, when everyone is calm, check the baby without a show of alarm.
Avoid this
- Shouting "Be gentle!" from across the room. It names what you want but doesn't stop the hand.
- Demanding "Say sorry" or a kiss right now.
- A long lecture about how small and fragile the baby is.
Why it works: In the moment, your toddler's thinking brain is offline. Short, calm and physical works better than long and verbal. You stop the action and accept the feeling, so there's nothing to fight against.
Script 6 of 20
Acts out the moment you sit down to feed
- “Feeding time! Go and get your feeding box.”
- “I'm feeding the baby, and I'm still here for you.”
- “Come and sit by me. You turn the pages.”
Do this
- Keep a feeding box ready: a few toys and a snack that only come out during feeds.
- Sit where you can see your toddler and block them if needed.
- Talk to your toddler during the feed, not just to the baby.
Avoid this
- "Not now, I'm feeding the baby" as your default answer.
- Making the feeding box a reward for good behaviour. It's a tool, not a prize.
Why it works: Feeds are the moments your toddler loses you most visibly, sometimes 8 to 12 times a day. If feeds start to mean something good for them too, the flashpoint cools.
Script 11 of 20
Keeps coming out of the room
- “Goodnight. I love you. I'll come and check on you in five minutes.”
- Every time they come out:“It's sleep time. Back to bed.”
Do this
- Go back and check after five minutes, exactly as promised. That's what makes them believe you.
- Walk them back calmly, using the same few words every time.
- Keep returns dim, quiet and boring.
Avoid this
- New conversations, new stories or new drinks at the door.
- Anger. It makes coming out exciting.
- Locking the door or shutting them in.
Why it works: Most coming out is checking: are you still there? A promised check-in answers that before they have to ask, and boring returns remove the reward.
17 more where these came from
The Big Sibling Reset
A 14-day plan for when your toddler falls apart after the new baby: all 20 scripts, the bedtime reset, and seven printables. $27, instant download.
See the full plan